Alex, first I would like to comment on your website as a whole. Personally, I think the image you used and the background really helped set the scene for your story. It gave off an eerie vibe which enhanced the reading experience. As for your story, I really liked one of the first parts of the story where you say that the red gleaming eyes of the wolf would be the last thing any creature would see if they entered that cave. It helps show the main antagonist early in the story. One of the things I was curious about is the background of the traveler. He seemed to be able to think quickly in a dangerous situation which helped him defeat the wolf. What if you included more of a background story for the traveler to let the reader understand why he was capable of holding his own. Overall, I enjoyed this story and look forward to see what else you have to add to it.
Hey, Alex! So I just got done looking over your portfolio and reading your story The Cave. Great work! In the story you really used a lot of detail that contributed to the creation of a very vivid story. I loved how the background of the portfolio, the pictures you used, and even the title of the story added to the creepiness and suspense of the story.
When I read through the story I did wonder a few things. In the story you made it very clear that the path to the cave was very scary and the cave itself was terrifying. This made me wonder why would the traveler even risk it for shelter? Maybe there was a horrible storm that made the traveler truly desperate? Could the traveler have taken the scary path because he was in a rush and it was a short-cut? Also I noticed that most of Aesop's Fables have a meaning attached and I was wondering if there was any specific meaning behind this story. Either way it is great! Anyways, I really enjoyed your story! It was very vivid and creepy and was a great read. Good work!
LMAO. That's what I did when I saw the dude on your comment wall. That's classic. Okay, so I liked your idea of doing a portfolio and getting to do more stories from the ones you loved. I was especially happy to see your first one was a fable story, that would have been my first if I was going to do a portfolio as well. For page I would recommend making a actual homepage to greet people that are coming to your page. There is no need for a link from your homepage to your homepage as well so you can go ahead and get rid of that. The story was a good read. I would have liked a little more background on the traveler however that would make the story pretty long and I know fables are suppose to be short and sweet so I would say that it is ok to skip out on details such as this if it is needed too. Well, good luck on your future portfolio writing.
Hey, Alex, let me start off by saying that the layout of your website and background photo really capture the mood of your first story. That being said, I would worry that it may not compliment the mood of every story you plan on adding to your portfolio - or it might - it's just something to think about design wise. I read your story "The Cave" a few weeks ago for the weekly commenting assignment. I loved it then and I can say the same now. You do so well building the tension of the story to a great climax. The note I have about the writing is about form rather than content. Your story as a whole is great. There are just some grammatical things that, if fixed, would make your story that much stronger. Like taking some of the sentences written in passive voice and making them active - it would help the action scenes especially. As an English major, it is easier for me to spot things like that because we are taught to look for it in our own writing. Other than that, I loved reading this story again. Keep up the good work!
Hey Alex, The first story that you have is really great. I love the detail of the setting and all of the characters. As well as the depth of detail with the minor things like the flame and the fur of the wolf. A few things to improve is not so much about the story but the blog itself. I think that if you beef up the cover page with a good title and a link to your page with a couple of sentences of what to expect in the story it will really help build more interest in the readers eyes. A couple things to add about the story would be to make sure you capitalize the names of things like the cave and mountain. Other than that I really enjoyed reading your story and look forward to reading another story by you. You have a vivid imagination and it is great! Thank you for sharing!
Hi Alex! First off, I really like your banner photo that you chose. It already does a great job of setting the mood for the story. Your description of your first story underneath the introduction is also very intriguing and makes me want to read your story. I like that you chose a large font, it makes it a lot easier to read. Great job with your description of the scene, I can imagine the setting very vividly. You also do a wonderful job of building up to the climax as the scene gets darker and the main character gets more and more nervous entering the cave. My heart was beating so fast when the beast ran towards the main character while he was trying to start a fire. I’m surprised that the wolf didn’t come back to take revenge on the man who took over his cave and tried to light him on fire.
Hi Alex, I enjoyed reading your story The Cave. The title itself had me thinking it was going to be some type of creepy story and the picture you chose helped me believe this. I enjoyed the increasing suspense as the story went a long, especially once you incorporated dialogue into your story. I thought you did a great job with the theme of your website as your story fit perfectly and set the mood. I did wonder a few things about the traveler such as where he was coming from or just a little more background from him. Maybe you could justify why he chose to go into the cave as shelter by saying that he is great with the outdoors and was very confident about his skills such as starting a fire in the cave. There was also a little confusion on some sentences that had present and past tenses mixed up. I look forward to reading more of your stories throughout the semester!
Hi Alex! Wow, great story! I could definitely feel the suspense rising throughout the first story! Even in the mountain, when you described the setting! And then, when the spacing of the words got bigger, and the beast was getting closer to the traveler! Wow, you told the story really well! And you made use of the tools you had! The background of the page looks really nice and matches the theme well. I also like the image of the cave. You did a great job with the Author's Note too. I completely understand where you coming from and your thought process when making your story. You were successful in everything you were aiming for. You have suspense and mystery all over the portfolio. Great job! I look forward to reading more! I didn't realize you had a second story until later though. Maybe you could include "The Storm" in the banner with "Home" and "The Cave". I think you should give a little more introduction about the two stories. It was a little confusing going from "The Cave" to "The Storm" and being thrown into a completely new story.
Hello, Alex! First, I really liked the initial image that you used in your first story, “The Cave.” Surprisingly, a lot of people don’t place images at the beginning of their stories. I’m glad that you did this, as it provides a setting for the reader to visualize before beginning the narrative. I love this intensity of this story! It made me think of a story that I wrote early this semester, about a wolf trying to steal fire from humans. This was based on an idea from The Jungle Book, where the animals desire to possess “man’s red flower.” With a similar theme but different manifestation, we see that the fire of the traveler helps him overcome the evil power of the wolf! I like how you added suspense through irony by explaining where this monster was, which we (the audience) were aware of, while the traveler was oblivious. Great job! Some things that came to mind while I read through this story - perhaps it is an element of the website, but I think it might improve the readability if the width of the text could be expanded. As it is, the text only takes up about half of the page. This might allow you some more creativity with adding pictures as well.
Hey Alex, I really enjoyed the three stories you created for your project. The way you wrote each story I was surprised to read in the author’s notes that you had created the story only based off of tales you had read. I like that instead of rewriting a tale you take information from the tales and create your own unique story, it seems like it would be hard to do! The Strom was probably my favorite story out of the three because of the illusion that the turtle might not have even been there to help the sailor. I noticed that on the Home page you had little explanations about The Cave and The Storm but not the last story, The Ranger. You could either take away the two or at one for The Ranger. Also, it might seem minor but all of the pages had different font styles and layouts. Picking one style for your project is not only astatically more pleasing but makes it easier for the reader to read the stories. I personally enjoyed the bigger lettering and style on The Cave story. Great project!
Hey Alex, I thought your portfolio project was really interesting. I wish that the introduction would have given a little bit more about what your stories were going to encompass, but nonetheless it was overall a great project. I noticed that your style of writing was really easy to follow and you use a ton of really descriptive words so that made the reading enjoyable as well. You also do a great job of ending each sentence in a way that makes the reader really interested in what you have to say next. You can tell that you really take the stories you used as inspiration and made them into something of your own. I especially liked the second story the best because I felt like it had a great plot buildup and then a happy ending. As a suggestion, making the fonts on all the pages all the same could make the layout look a little more organized but that is just my opinion. Overall, I really liked what you have put together here, great portfolio!
This was my first time reading your portfolio, so it was really nice to see some new stories. I was excited to give you some feedback. I read your most recent story to help give you more relevant feedback as you move forward. I thought the gif that you used was really cool. I think it helps set the tone and adds a bit of a scary vibe to The Ranger. I immediately got The Lords of the Rings vibes from it. I think that the description of the ranger as he comes upon the stream was great. You provided a lot of quality visual details for this scene. I liked how the ranger had to become something that he was not. I was not sure what he would disguise himself as once I read the riddle. However, it seems that he had to become something completely different to fool the parasite infesting the kingdom. I was a bit confused as to what the evil really was at the end. Was it just an evil spirit living within all of the people? I think maybe a line or two more about what it was would be great. Overall, I think it is a very great and complete story!
Hello Alex! This is my first time reading your portfolio and I really did enjoy it. The design was not over the top and your writing is very well done. Author's notes are always a great thing when it comes to these portfolios and you explained greatly about the inspiration for your stories in yours. The stories go well and flow very well together to keep a constant rhythm when going between all three of them. You could feel how passionate you were when writing them and how you kept your readers engaged and wanting more. Only thing I would change is to add pictures that add to the story or give the reader a sense of what is going on. The size of the font for the story and the authors note should also be kept consistent. When you are done with the stories your eyes have to refocus to the smaller font to read the authors note and that gets tiring on the eyes.
Alex, first I would like to comment on your website as a whole. Personally, I think the image you used and the background really helped set the scene for your story. It gave off an eerie vibe which enhanced the reading experience. As for your story, I really liked one of the first parts of the story where you say that the red gleaming eyes of the wolf would be the last thing any creature would see if they entered that cave. It helps show the main antagonist early in the story. One of the things I was curious about is the background of the traveler. He seemed to be able to think quickly in a dangerous situation which helped him defeat the wolf. What if you included more of a background story for the traveler to let the reader understand why he was capable of holding his own. Overall, I enjoyed this story and look forward to see what else you have to add to it.
ReplyDeleteHey, Alex! So I just got done looking over your portfolio and reading your story The Cave. Great work! In the story you really used a lot of detail that contributed to the creation of a very vivid story. I loved how the background of the portfolio, the pictures you used, and even the title of the story added to the creepiness and suspense of the story.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read through the story I did wonder a few things. In the story you made it very clear that the path to the cave was very scary and the cave itself was terrifying. This made me wonder why would the traveler even risk it for shelter? Maybe there was a horrible storm that made the traveler truly desperate? Could the traveler have taken the scary path because he was in a rush and it was a short-cut? Also I noticed that most of Aesop's Fables have a meaning attached and I was wondering if there was any specific meaning behind this story. Either way it is great!
Anyways, I really enjoyed your story! It was very vivid and creepy and was a great read. Good work!
LMAO. That's what I did when I saw the dude on your comment wall. That's classic. Okay, so I liked your idea of doing a portfolio and getting to do more stories from the ones you loved. I was especially happy to see your first one was a fable story, that would have been my first if I was going to do a portfolio as well. For page I would recommend making a actual homepage to greet people that are coming to your page. There is no need for a link from your homepage to your homepage as well so you can go ahead and get rid of that. The story was a good read. I would have liked a little more background on the traveler however that would make the story pretty long and I know fables are suppose to be short and sweet so I would say that it is ok to skip out on details such as this if it is needed too. Well, good luck on your future portfolio writing.
ReplyDeleteHey, Alex, let me start off by saying that the layout of your website and background photo really capture the mood of your first story. That being said, I would worry that it may not compliment the mood of every story you plan on adding to your portfolio - or it might - it's just something to think about design wise. I read your story "The Cave" a few weeks ago for the weekly commenting assignment. I loved it then and I can say the same now. You do so well building the tension of the story to a great climax. The note I have about the writing is about form rather than content. Your story as a whole is great. There are just some grammatical things that, if fixed, would make your story that much stronger. Like taking some of the sentences written in passive voice and making them active - it would help the action scenes especially. As an English major, it is easier for me to spot things like that because we are taught to look for it in our own writing. Other than that, I loved reading this story again. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Alex,
ReplyDeleteThe first story that you have is really great. I love the detail of the setting and all of the characters. As well as the depth of detail with the minor things like the flame and the fur of the wolf. A few things to improve is not so much about the story but the blog itself. I think that if you beef up the cover page with a good title and a link to your page with a couple of sentences of what to expect in the story it will really help build more interest in the readers eyes. A couple things to add about the story would be to make sure you capitalize the names of things like the cave and mountain. Other than that I really enjoyed reading your story and look forward to reading another story by you. You have a vivid imagination and it is great! Thank you for sharing!
Hi Alex! First off, I really like your banner photo that you chose. It already does a great job of setting the mood for the story. Your description of your first story underneath the introduction is also very intriguing and makes me want to read your story. I like that you chose a large font, it makes it a lot easier to read. Great job with your description of the scene, I can imagine the setting very vividly. You also do a wonderful job of building up to the climax as the scene gets darker and the main character gets more and more nervous entering the cave. My heart was beating so fast when the beast ran towards the main character while he was trying to start a fire. I’m surprised that the wolf didn’t come back to take revenge on the man who took over his cave and tried to light him on fire.
ReplyDeleteHi Alex,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story The Cave. The title itself had me thinking it was going to be some type of creepy story and the picture you chose helped me believe this. I enjoyed the increasing suspense as the story went a long, especially once you incorporated dialogue into your story. I thought you did a great job with the theme of your website as your story fit perfectly and set the mood. I did wonder a few things about the traveler such as where he was coming from or just a little more background from him. Maybe you could justify why he chose to go into the cave as shelter by saying that he is great with the outdoors and was very confident about his skills such as starting a fire in the cave. There was also a little confusion on some sentences that had present and past tenses mixed up. I look forward to reading more of your stories throughout the semester!
Hi Alex! Wow, great story! I could definitely feel the suspense rising throughout the first story! Even in the mountain, when you described the setting! And then, when the spacing of the words got bigger, and the beast was getting closer to the traveler! Wow, you told the story really well! And you made use of the tools you had! The background of the page looks really nice and matches the theme well. I also like the image of the cave. You did a great job with the Author's Note too. I completely understand where you coming from and your thought process when making your story. You were successful in everything you were aiming for. You have suspense and mystery all over the portfolio. Great job! I look forward to reading more! I didn't realize you had a second story until later though. Maybe you could include "The Storm" in the banner with "Home" and "The Cave". I think you should give a little more introduction about the two stories. It was a little confusing going from "The Cave" to "The Storm" and being thrown into a completely new story.
ReplyDeleteHello, Alex!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I really liked the initial image that you used in your first story, “The Cave.” Surprisingly, a lot of people don’t place images at the beginning of their stories. I’m glad that you did this, as it provides a setting for the reader to visualize before beginning the narrative.
I love this intensity of this story! It made me think of a story that I wrote early this semester, about a wolf trying to steal fire from humans. This was based on an idea from The Jungle Book, where the animals desire to possess “man’s red flower.” With a similar theme but different manifestation, we see that the fire of the traveler helps him overcome the evil power of the wolf!
I like how you added suspense through irony by explaining where this monster was, which we (the audience) were aware of, while the traveler was oblivious. Great job!
Some things that came to mind while I read through this story - perhaps it is an element of the website, but I think it might improve the readability if the width of the text could be expanded. As it is, the text only takes up about half of the page. This might allow you some more creativity with adding pictures as well.
Hey Alex,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the three stories you created for your project. The way you wrote each story I was surprised to read in the author’s notes that you had created the story only based off of tales you had read. I like that instead of rewriting a tale you take information from the tales and create your own unique story, it seems like it would be hard to do! The Strom was probably my favorite story out of the three because of the illusion that the turtle might not have even been there to help the sailor. I noticed that on the Home page you had little explanations about The Cave and The Storm but not the last story, The Ranger. You could either take away the two or at one for The Ranger. Also, it might seem minor but all of the pages had different font styles and layouts. Picking one style for your project is not only astatically more pleasing but makes it easier for the reader to read the stories. I personally enjoyed the bigger lettering and style on The Cave story. Great project!
Hey Alex, I thought your portfolio project was really interesting. I wish that the introduction would have given a little bit more about what your stories were going to encompass, but nonetheless it was overall a great project. I noticed that your style of writing was really easy to follow and you use a ton of really descriptive words so that made the reading enjoyable as well. You also do a great job of ending each sentence in a way that makes the reader really interested in what you have to say next. You can tell that you really take the stories you used as inspiration and made them into something of your own. I especially liked the second story the best because I felt like it had a great plot buildup and then a happy ending. As a suggestion, making the fonts on all the pages all the same could make the layout look a little more organized but that is just my opinion. Overall, I really liked what you have put together here, great portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHey there, Alex!
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time reading your portfolio, so it was really nice to see some new stories. I was excited to give you some feedback. I read your most recent story to help give you more relevant feedback as you move forward. I thought the gif that you used was really cool. I think it helps set the tone and adds a bit of a scary vibe to The Ranger. I immediately got The Lords of the Rings vibes from it. I think that the description of the ranger as he comes upon the stream was great. You provided a lot of quality visual details for this scene. I liked how the ranger had to become something that he was not. I was not sure what he would disguise himself as once I read the riddle. However, it seems that he had to become something completely different to fool the parasite infesting the kingdom. I was a bit confused as to what the evil really was at the end. Was it just an evil spirit living within all of the people? I think maybe a line or two more about what it was would be great. Overall, I think it is a very great and complete story!
Hello Alex!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time reading your portfolio and I really did enjoy it. The design was not over the top and your writing is very well done. Author's notes are always a great thing when it comes to these portfolios and you explained greatly about the inspiration for your stories in yours. The stories go well and flow very well together to keep a constant rhythm when going between all three of them. You could feel how passionate you were when writing them and how you kept your readers engaged and wanting more. Only thing I would change is to add pictures that add to the story or give the reader a sense of what is going on. The size of the font for the story and the authors note should also be kept consistent. When you are done with the stories your eyes have to refocus to the smaller font to read the authors note and that gets tiring on the eyes.